The day I
lost my brother to cancer was the absolute worst day of my life. I felt my
heart sink so low when his last breath left his body. He was my best friend as
well as my brother and for me it was like losing two people. It had such a
devastating effect on my life.
At the time
of his funeral the night before I lay awake worrying about the coming day. I
did not think I would have the strength to get through the service. My nephew
wanted us to carry the coffin with some of my brother’s closest friends and I really
felt I was going to let my nephew down.
That night I
awoke to the feeling of someone standing over me. I lashed out instinctively but
then got this overwhelming feeling of calmness come over me. In front of me I saw
what can only be described as an opaque swirling ball of fire. I felt like this
was my brother. I have since read it could be angels in your hour of need but I
still feel this was my brother. That calming effect seemed to help me get the
couple of hours sleep left of the night and gave me the strength to get through
the following day.
His service
went just as he would have liked it. The weather had been terrible but on his
day the sun came out and it was like the universe had his day set aside. I’ve
never seen so many people at a funeral and it made me realize just how many
people loved and respected my brother. There were tears and laughter during his
service and it went just the way he would have liked it.
Sometime
after the funeral my grieving was still very painful. My brother came to me in a
dream. I’ve read about dream visitations and wondered if it would ever happen
to me. My brother came out of the wall in my dream and I jumped up excited
speaking his name ‘You’re here’ I said as he hugged me. He said no words just
hugged me and smiled, then disappeared back into the wall. This experience was
wonderful for me but I found I missed him so much I just wanted more.
Quite a
while (years) after that my girlfriend was awake one night in bed and said she
witnessed me having a conversation with my brother as I slept. I was telling
him how much I missed him in tones like we were talking to each other in a
soft conversation. When I awoke in the morning I remembered nothing of this.
Some three
years since my brother passed over he came to me again. This time I was awake in the
morning on my own. It was around 0700 and I just lay in bed. In my room my
brother appeared and I spoke out ‘Hey I can see you and you are naked’. My
brother replied he would put some underwear and shorts on. I told him I could
still see him and he had orange shorts on. He came and gave me a hug and spoke
to me telling me that life was for living and I had to live my life. He said he
was lucky as they had told him it would be five years before he was allowed to
speak to me. Then he went on to say I was not meant to go back but I was not
sure if he meant work/UK or something else. He hugged me again and said he
would whisper in my ear. As he did his words got all muddled. He died because
of a brain tumour and it was as if he was back to his last days where he could
not be understood. I’m not sure if spirit are not allowed to tell us what to do
and he was being pulled back because my brother was trying to give me
direction. He just smiled and hugged me again then disappeared.
I was still
in my room and looked at my watch. Some forty minutes had gone by and I wondered
had I been dreaming in a dozing state. My feeling was still there from the hug
so it most definitely did not feel like a dream. I felt so good that my brother
had visited me.
Until that
moment I had felt like I did not care if life ended each night I went to sleep.
I showed classic signs of depression. My brother is trying to help me pick up
the pieces and move on. I am grateful for the experiences I have had where he
has come to see me.
I am just
starting to open up to things spiritually now. The door has cracked open and
little things here and there are happening. I hope I can read the messages I am
getting from spirit and head in the direction I am meant to go.
I am
convinced life does not end when our loved ones depart this world now and my grieving
is perhaps coming to an end.
Has anyone
else had similar experiences?
Rick D
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